Hilarious and Uninhibited – Kid Quotes
I consider myself very fortunate to be blessed with young grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and cousins who never fail to provide me with uncensored, straight from the heart entertainment. Nothing quite compares to their spontaneity and innocent truth.
1. Not to be indelicate but the subject of bodily functions seems to be a subject of fascination and a recurring theme for the under ten year old set.
– My four-year-old niece to her mom while dressing up in her beloved sequins and tulle fairy costume:
“Mama, do fairies poop”? After her mother replies in the affirmative the little girl asks, “Well, does their poop have sparkles in it”?
This is the delightful picture my great niece drew. Out of the pen of babes.
2. The deductions that little ones impart are surprisingly well thought out and logical.
– Precocious three- year-old to her grandma: “Octopuses have eight arms so they can keep track of all their children.”
– My granddaughter, deep in thought: “A bug bite is just a nipple that is itchy.”
– Three-year-old niece again: “We should have ten babies so I will always have someone to kiss.”
3. Food never fails to elicit howls of mirth.
– A young woman is breast feeding her new baby when her young nephew sidles up to her and asks what the baby is drinking. After being told that it is milk, the next question is, “Well, does the other one have chocolate milk”?
– Often names of foods are perceived differently by little ears. One granddaughter asked very seriously for ‘Farmer John cheese’ for her spaghetti, while another requested ‘beefing turkey’ for her snack. For those who are looking puzzled that refers to beef jerky.
– a young man returning from kindergarten watched as his babysitter made him a grilled cheese sandwich. “May I please have a boy cheese sandwich next time instead of a girl cheese sandwich”?
4. Parroting overheard adult words are often fodder for more laughter.
– When the baby in my niece’s family was making the “bababa” noise that babies often make, her five-year-old sister explained to their grandmother importantly: “She is trying to say boob. She wants some milk.”
– My cousin’s little girl erupted in anger when her brother and friends were making noise. “Please be quiet. I have a diarrhea headache.”
-Grandma explains to her five-year-old charge that she has to go out a bit later to return something. The indignant answer: “Not on my watch, you don’t.”
– Grandparents have taken their granddaughters to a small park near the church. The three-year-old proceeds to climb on the nearby statue. Grandma, “You mustn’t climb on there. That is Mother Mary.”
Little girl queries, “is dat your mudder?”
5. And then there are those that simply need no explanation.
– Small girl in car seat on the way home calls to her mother: “Mommy I have to pee.” Harried mother responds, “We’re only two minutes from home. You’ll have to hold it.” Panicked, desperate reply, “I can’t hold it. Both my hands are full.”
– Question from a small boy after he sees his mother handing a homeless lady a two dollar coin, “Is that her allowance? Are you her mommy too?”
Thankfully we continue to enjoy these delightful little entertainers who brighten our days.